Tequila Makes Their Clothes Come Off
by BeForeverYoung
Summary: Jane and Maura wake up with one of the worst hangovers of their lives...but that isn't all they have to deal with in the morning...femslash


Tequila Makes Their Clothes Come Off

By: BeForeverYoung

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The morning light shined in through the small window in Maura's kitchen as a small beam of light shined down on Jane's face electing a groan from her

Jane's felt like her whole head was about to explode at any minute. Cracking her right open she groaned. What the hell! She moved to sit up but gave a slight whimper as her muscles tightened painfully, choosing no pain Jane decided to stay to put.

"Ohh…my god," groaned Jane licking the roof of her mouth loudly trying get the of taste death out her mouth.

Jane's movements however paused when she heard another moan of discomfort but not coming from her.

"What the hell…" started Jane following the noise to look down to see Maura her head on Jane's bare chest right next to her breast. "Maura!" cried out Jane just realizing now that she was naked and most of all was naked with her best friend lying on top of her.

"Don't yell Jane," grumbled Maura burying her head deeper into Jane's chest oblivious to the fact that she was rubbing her face into Jane's breast.

"Ohh…my god Maura stop," groaned Jane mortified with the situation.

"Why does my mouth taste like something died in it?" mumbled Maura her eyes still closed her mouth making loud clacking noises as she tried to get rid of the fowl taste.

"Maura I am naked," whispered Jane.

"That is nice Jane," mumbled Maura seemingly oblivious to everything that was going on as she moved her head to lie directly between Jane's breast to go back to sleep.

Jane stared down at Maura with wide eyes. She did not just go back to sleep!

"Maura I AM NAKED!" cried out Jane looking down at Maura to see that Maura was in fact naked too. "AND SO ARE YOU!"

"Jane," whined Maura softly, "your voice can be compared to someone is driving an ice pick through my temporal lobe, stop yelling."

Jane reached down ignoring the way her muscles tightened in displeasure at her actions and grabbed a hold of Maura's chin and made Maura look up at her.

"Maura open your eyes and look at me," said Jane.

Maura opened her eyes slowly wincing as the light hit her in the eyes.

"Jane?" questioned Maura confused. "What are you doing here?" she asked finally awake.

"Good question Maura," snarked out Jane, "but you know what is a better question…why the hell are we NAKED!"

Maura winced but this time she at least comprehended what Jane was actually saying as she looked down their naked entangled bodies, "Huhh…" stated Maura before looking back up at Jane.

Jane stared at her with an incredulous look, "Huh? That is all you have to say? Huh!"

"Jane I swear to the higher power in which you believe that if you yell one more time my brain is literally going to explode, hypothetically speaking of course," groaned Maura as she went to disentangle herself from Jane but found her muscles cramping quite painfully.

"Oww," whimpered Maura pulling her arm back which was draped across Jane's stomach as a sickening noise sounded because her arm was sticking to Jane's stomach.

Maura crinkled up her nose in disgust as she stared down at her hand that seemed to be coated with a brown sticky substance. Looking down at her own body she saw in fact that she was covered in this substance and as her eyes dragged up Jane's beautiful naked body from her toes to her head Maura concluded that Jane was covered in this substance as well.

Jane was trying really hard not to blush as Maura's eyes raked up her body. Deciding to distract herself from the obvious reaction she was having to Maura's eyes Jane glanced around at her surroundings and groaned.

"Why are we laying on your kitchen floor," groaned Jane now knowing why her muscles were aching, they had slept on hard tile all night.

Maura who was still admiring Jane's body looked up at as she heard Jane's words as she too took in their surroundings.

"Huh…" said Maura looking around her kitchen just as stumped as Jane.

"Good god Maura is that all you can say," groaned Jane pushing herself up deciding to throw all bashfulness out the fucking window seeing as though Maura as already seen her in all her glory.

Groaning Jane as she stood up on shaky legs.

"What the hell happened last night," cried out Jane as she searched Maura's kitchen for anything to cover herself up with. She was pleasantly surprised to see her black button down shirt which was hanging from the top of the refrigerator.

Walking over to it wincing with every step Jane took the shirt slipping it over her shoulders and buttoning the few buttons she had left on it. Looking around the kitchen floor she saw graveyard of her shirt buttons lying on the floor right next to a very large empty bottle of tequila. Jane's eyes went wide when she seen the empty liquor bottle. Jane bought Maura for her birthday last year, that was a full bottle, no wonder the could not remember anything!

As she was buttoning her shirt however she stopped to stare at the dark brown stickiness that was all over her forearm.

Turning around to ask Maura, Jane spoke, "what the hell is this…."

Whatever Jane was about to say was cut short as she finally saw a very naked Maura standing in the middle of the kitchen watching Jane.

Jane couldn't help but stare at the angelic form in front of her. I mean who wouldn't? Maura was quite possible the most beautiful thing Jane has ever seen.

The stared at each other for some time before Jane finally stopped herself.

"Sweet Jesus Maura will you put some clothes on," blushed Jane as she looked away from her friend.

"I don't see what the point is," shrugged Maura, "we just seen each other naked, there is nothing to hide."

"Maura," whined Jane, "just please put some clothes on."

Maura smirked at Jane obviously enjoying the fact that Jane was trying very hard not to stare at her.

"Fine Jane," whispered Maura as she went to turn out of the kitchen to go to her bedroom but stopped when she saw her underwear and Jane's wife beater that she wears under her button ups. Reaching over Maura slipped on her underwear and threw on Jane's shirt before turning back to her friend who was still looking away.

"I am covered now Jane," smiled Maura watching Jane turn her head her eyes went wide as she saw what Maura was wearing.

"That isn't much better," murmured Jane to herself. "What is this crap all over us?" asked Jane distracting herself again from gawking at Maura.

Maura took in Jane's question before looking down at her hand that was coated in it. Bringing her hand up Maura cautiously sniffed her hand before then brining it up slowly to her lips as she licked the sticky substance.

"Ewww…Maura you don't know what that stuff is…" 

"It's chocolate Jane," deadpanned Maura.

"Chocolate…really?" said Jane staring down at the stuff on her arm.

"Yes lick it if you want but I am 100% certain it is chocolate syrup," stated Maura smiling. "The fact that there is an empty chocolate syrup bottle on the counter supports my hypothesis."

"I will take your word for it," whispered Jane as she looked at her arm wondering how they hell her and Maura got chocolate all over themselves. Jane's eyes went wide as she finally started putting all the facts together, they were obviously hung over, and they woke up naked and covered in chocolate syrup…

"No…" groaned Jane.

"What Jane it is just chocolate syrup it will come off in a shower…"

"Not that Maura…have you even stopped and thought about why were woke up naked, hung over and covered in chocolate syrup?" sighed Jane.

"You mean if I wondered if there was a possibility that we engaged in sexual intercourse last night," stated Maura easily as if she were talking about weather. "Which we did by the way…"

"What!" cried out Jane, "wait how do you know we had sex? We could have gotten drunk, got in a chocolate syrup fight, which ruined our clothes, so we took them off…"

"That is a very farfetched story you have come up with there detective," chuckled Maura. "but unfortunately there is 3 flaws to your story…"

"Ohh...ya like what," defended Jane.

"Well…for one," stated Maura, "according to your story we got in a chocolate fight and then took of our clothes…"

"Ya so," grumbled Jane.

"We don't have chocolate on our clothes Jane," stated Maura indicating to their clothes that were on them and all the ones that were thrown haphazardly around the kitchen.

"And two," stated Maura, "it reeks of sex in here…"

"It does not!"

"It does Jane," stated Maura, "when two people engage in sexual intercourse their body fluids have a distinct smell and they generate heavy amounts of sweat…"

"I know what sex smells like Maura!"

"And thirdly I have hardened 57.5% of glyceride and fatty acids, 26% wax ester, 12% squalene, 3% cholesterol esters, and 1.5 % cholesterol on both my inner thighs," stated Maura.

"You have what on your thighs," exclaimed Jane looking at Maura's thighs with wide eyes.

"I have dried up lubrication and cum on my inner thighs Jane," chuckled Maura at the look of pure horror on Jane's face at her words.

"Sweet Jesus Maura," exclaimed Jane. "Please tell me you didn't say what I think you just said…"

"Which part?" asked Maura confused.

"God I don't know how about…ALL OF IT!" yelled Jane her head punishing her immediately as it sent blinding headache through her brain. Turning her back to Maura, Jane leaned her elbows on the counter rubbing her temples.

Silence engulfed the room as Jane tried to rub away her headache.

"Is the thought of having sex with me that bad?" whispered Maura hurt evident in her voice.

The pain laced voice of her friend was enough for Jane to stop what she was doing and to turn and face her friend. Her heart instantly hurt a little as she saw a teary eyed Maura staring at her.

"No…I mean yes…I mean no…" stuttered Jane trying to find the right words.

"I will take that as a yes Jane," whispered Maura as she turned to walk away, "I need to take a shower," she mumbled before heading out of the kitchen.

Jane watched sadly as Maura made her way out of the kitchen. Her head hurt, her muscles ached but as she watched Maura walk out of the kitchen with tears in her eyes her heart broke. Within an instant Jane followed Maura following the sound of the shower running.

Entering the bathroom quietly Jane took in a shaky breath as she heard Maura's sobs echo from the shower walls. Unbuttoning all three of her buttons Jane let her shirt fall to the ground before opening the shower door and walking in.

Maura heard the shower door open and knew it was Jane but refused to meet her eyes.

"I know that I am not the most beautiful woman or the easiest person to deal with," sobbed Maura not turning around to face Jane as she just stared at the wall. "But I still held hopes. Small hopes that one day possibly that you could see past all my faults and…."

Before Maura could finish her rant however she felt the strong long arms of Jane's wrap themselves around her and pull her back into the naked chest of the leggy brunette.

Maura took in a shark intake of breath as she felt Jane's naked form against her own.

"How could you not think that I didn't want you," whispered Jane her voice hoarse with emotion making it drop down an octave and become so rustic. "You my friend are the most beautiful think I have ever laid eyes on," Jane paused to place a gentle kiss to Maura's bare shoulder and continued a path of feather like kisses up to her neck. "and I happen to love it when you go all Google on me," Jane paused in her kisses to turn Maura in her arms so that they were facing each other.

Maura's tears mingled with shower water but her red eyes gave her away, "aww…Maura babe I never intended to hurt you," whispered Jane reaching up and running the pad of her thumb along Maura's cheek bone.

"Why are you here Jane," cried Maura, "are you purposefully trying to break my heart because not even a minute ago you didn't even want acknowledge that we had sex…"

"Of course I didn't Maura," interrupted Jane but when she saw tears making there way back into Maura's eyes she quickly added, "Maura I have wanted you for so damn long…since I first saw you actually. I have been dreaming about the moment where I would finally have your body all to myself. I have dreamed too long about where your ticklish spots are and the spots that make you moan or quiver…but god Maura I didn't want our first time together to be some drunken fuck on your kitchen floor that neither one of us could remember."

Leaning down Jane pulled Maura into a searing kiss before pulling away, "I wanted to make love to you our first time," whispered Jane just centimeters from Maura's lips.

Maura leaned up giving Jane a chaste kiss the feeling of Jane smiling into the kiss sent shivers down Maura's spine. Pulling back Maura wrapped her arms around Jane smiling up at her, "I do find it somewhat disappointing that we can't remember our first time," whispered Maura.

"Well I believe we have two options to solve that problem Doc," whispered Jane running her fingertips up the length of Maura's spine.

"Yes detective?" inquired Maura shakily.

"Well…" drawled Jane, "we could make love to each other here and now and count this as our first time."

"I do like that I idea," smiled Maura leaning up to kiss Jane.

"Ahh…." scolded Jane smirking making Maura stop, "you don't want to here option two?"

"Does it sound as promising as option one?" asked Maura laughing.

"Depends?"

"Okay Detective I conceded," said Maura smiling, "what is option two?"

"Well it still involves us making love…" stated Jane.

"Okay I like option two then!" stated Maura interrupting her.

"Now I just want think you to get in my pants Doc," laughed Jane at Maura's antics.

"Technically you don't have pants on Detective, so you statement doesn't make any sense," pointed out Maura.

"Do you want hear the last bit of option two smart ass or not?" growled Jane playfully.

"Fine," sighed Maura pouting slightly.

"Well we make love and count it as our second time," stated Jane, "and then we remember our first time by watching the sex tape we apparently made last night."

"We didn't!" squeaked out Maura.

"Ohh…yes we did," said Jane chuckling, "when I was following you I saw a video camera still on and recording sitting on the kitchen table pointed towards the kitchen."

"Ohh…my," whispered Maura blushing never believing that the two would actually do such a thing.

Leaning down Jane kissed her way down Maura's throat, "so what will it be Doc?" whispered Jane placing a soft kiss to Maura's neck, "option 1?" she whispered before biting down softly on the same spot causing Maura to whimper, "or option 2?"

"Either one involves intercourse correct?" whispered Maura shakily.

"Yup," whispered Jane as she soothed the bite mark on Maura's neck with her tongue.

"But the second option involves more sex?" moaned out Maura.

Jane was concentrating very much on a particularly sensitive spot on Maura's collar bone when she picked her head up and grinned up at Maura, "Well after we have sex, then we get to watch us have sex which will most likely lead to more sex…so yes."

"Then I choose option two then," answered Maura smiling before taking Jane's lips within her own as she pushed them up against the wall of her shower.

"I thought you would," whispered Jane shakily as pulled back from Maura's lips to smile wickedly at her.

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